Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Instead of an excuse
[11:26] Matilda Pinion: whats going on with your blog?
[11:26] Matilda Pinion: except not much lololololol
[11:26] Eaton Waechter: I'm building up excitement
[11:27] Eaton Waechter: dunno what to blog about
[11:27] Eaton Waechter: I think I need to find fellow bloggers
[11:27] Matilda Pinion: where do they hang out normally
[11:28] Eaton Waechter: BSDM places usually
[11:28] Matilda Pinion: haha thats floggers lol
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The right type of hype
The University of Leipzig has just published research on the attitude of youths to, among other things, Second Life. The study found out that 80 percent of the 1000 youths questioned during research knew of SL, but two thirds of those who had not yet entered the virtual world weren’t even interested in doing so.
What people reporting about the research appear to be overlooking is that it was done with youths between 11 and 20. Technically only those above 18 years of age can actually register with SL. But, as we all know from those “How r u, wanna dance, rofl, do u liek my lazersword?”-IMs, this is, sadly, not the case.
Recently, in fact yesterday afternoon, an acquaintance mentioned to me that the “hype of SL is a thing of the past” and then, even more recently, in fact yesterday evening, a friend IM’d me asking what had happened to the Jazz Club Hot Sax. At first (and in a moment of extreme panic) I though she meant it had disappeared. But what she meant was that it was almost empty of people.
This has all put me on the defensive - pretty much in the manner of someone who has been a regular guest in, let’s say, the hot spot in a smaller town and suddenly discovers that the place isn’t rocking as it used to. You’ve got two choices: Either you join the crowd of nay-sayers and add your voice to their chorus; or you sniff loudly and start pretending you didn’t want all of those other dumb people in the club anyway and finally, finally, things are getting back to where they should be before all those flighty, finical and fastidious strangers showed up.
I, for my part, am quite happy to take the latter attitude.
Still, I do wonder. Last Sunday SL reached 67335 users online at one time. I know that so exactly because I wasn’t one of them and had that number up on the login screen for quite a while. If SL is a club that isn’t that popular anymore, I wished they’d tell that to the other 67333 people (I need at least one other person, preferably Tia, to be logged in as well). If SL isn’t as popular as it used to be, I wish it would stop being so full.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Baby, I ain't lion
This is just almost funny. In fact, almost too funny to be true. In fact, almost too funny for me to do anything but just copy and paste the article here.
And, being slightly lazy I'd do that - but I'm also slightly more afraid of getting some mail from a copyright lawyer, so I'll just summarize it.
A woman from North Carolina has been arrested after trying to kidnap her SL boyfriend after he broke off the relationship after they had met in RL. Okay, that’s not really funny, more tragic.
What’s funny is that the article slips in little bits of information and wording on the side that just begs to be commented on. May I point them out:
„Ms Jernigan's boyfriend was a lion while she was a virtual woman.“ The article states. „The two began what police describe as "a full-scale relationship online" in the virtual community, but the man broke it off after they met in person.”
Two or three things immediately pop to mind reading that.
1) Okay, he was a lion, but she a virtual woman. Why the virtual in there – and if it is, why in front of woman instead of lion?
2) “A full-scale relationship online”: As a lion and virtual woman. Doesn’t that make you, well, just wonder?
3) He breaks off the relationship after meeting her. What were her feelings? It seems to me she should have been more surprised after meeting him. Where’s the mane? What happened to your fangs? Why don’t you roar sweet nothings to me?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Limerick 1. House of V
The House of V hosts a large spider
Who could be called, perhaps, a rough rider.
He seems so docile
Then gets incredibly vile
And puts parts of himelf inside ya.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Notes From SL turns 100
This might just blow any chances we could have ever had at getting advertising on this blog, not that we were looking for it. But I thought I'd just report that on July 21st 2008 Notes from SL had its 100th unique visitor, for the month of July that is - the most we've had since going live in February. For those of you (and I'm suspecting it might be about 23.6 percent) who are into statistics we've also had 175 page views and anyone who showed up looked at 1.65 pages. Which means they might be missing a lot, like bouncing breasts or pole dancing dragons.
Or, actually, maybe those are the only two pages being read.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
A man's gotta do......
Having never done my driver’s license nor actually driven a car further then a few feet (and into a post that snuck up suddenly) and not really being interested in televised sport events and – finally – not the kind of guy who talks to others about his amorous adventures I find the amount of manly things I can discuss with my fellow men a bit limited. I’m the kind of guy who, seeing a car in flames finds nothing better to offer then “have you checked if the spark plugs are okay?” and when asked what chances Chelsea has this year immediately start talking about the Clintons.
This might be the reason why I generally end up talking to women in SL. Another might be that I usually talk while dancing and I’m rarely asked to the floor by the Aaaron Darkgearts and Slacker Sammsons of SL. But, just this morning I was able to strike up a short, brief and – at least in my mind – manly conversation that made me feel like I predicated the winner of the Premiere League and said something about the transmission. Ssomething intelligent.
It happened like this. I was sitting at Frank’s Ballroom or Jazz Club or whatever it’s called (and with whom I have a nit to pick about their policy of not letting cats in – but I digress): I was feeling a mite bit bored and having nothing in easy proximity to buy (see last post) I did what I occasionally do. I clicked on the option “highlight transparent” and began scanning the room.
And found that someone, let’s call him Chuck though his real name was something more like Bard – in fact so much like Bard that it was his name – had his dangly bits still dangling. I’m certain most of you know of this option, though Brad, I mean Chuck apparently didn’t. In a show of male bravado I IM’d him, pointing out, quite politely, that if he checked highlights transparent and then took a look at himself from the front he might find something he’d like to change.
Buck, I mean Chuck, wandered around the dance floor some, seemingly ingnoring my hint and I became even more bored with Frank’s and headed home. And he replied.
“Could you see my penis by everyone?” Which I translated as “OMG, could everyone in that fine venue see my Xcite attachment?”. I quickly pointed out that it was only apparent when the option was activated, couldn’t help but mention, perhaps with a bit of cruelty, that women tend to check that out occasionally. “Best keep it in your inventory until needed”, I added in what in RL would have been a manly, knowledgeable manner – the kind you hear just before you buddy or mate (depending on which side of the Atlantic you reside) nods his head and takes a hefty swallow of beer.
Card, I mean Chuck thanked me profusely with a “Hey man, thanks!”. (Okay, that’s maybe not the best example of profusely thanking, but anyway. It made me feel like I had just jump started his car while discussing the soccer game between the New York Mets and the Denver Broncos.
Nickles and Sense
I buy too much junk in SL. That's not only because there is so much junk to buy or that I'm in any way a shopaholic. It results from what I'd like to call the "cashier line of boredom in SL".
Certainly, I'm not going to collect this year's Noble Prize in Economics for this thought, but I see something working in SL that works wonderfully in RL already. Imagine yourself standing in line at the cash register. Two people ahead of you some .... let's call him "age challenged citizen" is fumbling through his wallet, muttering "that's a dime, no a nickel. How much do you need again?".
Having already read through all the nutrient value of the mashed potato mix you wish to buy and having wondered whether E 234 is generally a good or bad thing you find you eyes wandering to the left. Candy bars! And mints! And batteries - which don't taste half as good as the first two but are doubly useful. While the senior citizen begins his counting again you find your hand sneaking out, curling around a mars bar and casually throwing it on the conveyor belt. And then you add the batteries too.
I find myself doing the equivalent of this in SL. In moments of boredom I find myself typing something into Search. "Men's clothing", or maybe more specifically "men's suits" or sometimes even exceptionally specific like "Burlington style cardigan with matching socks". I never really find what I want, but that's beyond the scope of this post.
What I do find is a store and what I usually end up doing is purchasing something. Usually an object I neither really need nor really want. I buy the equivalent of SL batteries.
I've seen many stores in SL that attempt to offer some sort of entertainment. In fact, most clubs I've seen have stores latched onto them. This is, in my view, a bad idea. What store owners really should try to be striving for is this: Get the resident to the store and then keep her there bored. She'll eventually buy something. Well, maybe she wouldn't. Women have more sense than that.
But I would.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Ten things to say when caught naked online
1) I just teleported in and my clothes are still rezzing.2) I am teleporting away. And my clothes have gone on ahead.
3) I was asked by the Lindens to disrobe. It lessens lag, you know.
4) I'm going to protest against people wearing fur here.
5) I am clothed - its just really, really skimpy.
6) I always teleport naked. It goes faster that way.
7) I got these at that store "The Emperor's New Clothes". Why, what's the problem?
8) Oh, I only rent my clothes. I guess they just got repossed.
9) They were pretty old. Don't you have problems with clothes detiriation?
10) Well, at least I'm not wearing anything from Xcite. What, I am!!!?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Going hardgor
Just recently I asked if there was anything particular anyone wanted us to write about and got the request that more about what Gor and Goreans are about would be nice. I’m happy to fulfil that call to duty must admit on the other hand that I know about us much about Gor as I do about Thai semantics. I think, though, that one of the more important things about Goreanism is the slave bit – it has at least been what has interested me most. That and running around shirtless with a sword.
So, if I’m going to discover Gor for this blog I’ll probably have to have a slave. I’ve therefore set up this little application questionnaire for slaves in spe that will hopefully show your aptitude and attitude. Don’t blame me for any mistakes; I have no idea what I’ve written here. (So what’s new)
Slave application form:
Note: If you have troubles filling in the bubbles with those iron cuffs on try „right click / detach“
During a drink serving session how man times are you required to kiss the glass?
( ) 10
( ) Kiss the what?
( ) Kiss the glass? You can kiss everything but the gl in the last sentence!
What would be your first sentence when greeting your master?
( ) „Greetings Master, I am at your command“
( ) „Wassup? Cool broadsword, dude“
( ) „What the hell do you think you’re doing coming in at this hour?“
Upon rezzing at a location what pose/animation would you most likely use?
( ) Nadu or tower
( ) What’s a nadu? What’s a tower. I’d stay standing.
( ) I’ve got this „crotch kick“ I might want to try out on you.
Being collared means...
( ) ...that I have found a Master to follow and obey.
( ) ...I’m logging into SL as a dog?
( ) …I got nabbed by the cops. Happens all the time.
What might a typical description of yours be while doing the nadu?
( ) .../me kneels to the ground before you, her petite body arching and her pert breasts tightening as her head is cast down
( ) .../me is still not sure what a nadu is.
( ) .../me ain’t naduing for anybody, no mater what it might be.
Why do you want to become a kajira?
( ) To submit to the power of another fulfils me.
( ) I’ll answer that one as soon as I find out what a nadu is.
( ) Who ever said I did?
Are you a white silk kajira, that is a glana – or an „opened“ red silk slave?
( ) I have been saving myself for you, Master.
( ) If the opened red silk isn’t to revealing I might go for that.
( ) You really do have no idea what you’re talking about, right? Well, at least we have that in common.
Say in two words or less what you feel about being a krajira.
( ) Yes, Master.
( ) Uh, what?
( ) F**k off!
An ony must (whatever an ony must do)
I had actually been waiting to post this as soon as some new article came out stating that obligatory „in Second Life users can anonymously".... well, do whatever they want.
For example, and this only because I couldn't quickly find a current newspaper article about anonymity in SL, you can go to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. But that wasn’t what I was getting at. My point is, and yes, I'm slowly arriving there: Why does every one talk about the anonymity of users in SL and never mention that our Avatars are living in a society that would make the TSA clap its (leather clad, iron fisted?) hands in glee? My point - and I'm finally got there – your Avatar is anything but anonym.
If I had been trying to find another reason to write I could of taken this: Matilda, who I've talked to sometimes but never set up as a friend, recently sent me an IM – and maybe because we were not friends and she couldn't know I was online she carefully pointed out „I hope you don't think I'm stalking you, but I've got a question you might be able to answer." (And no, the question was not „Why don't you return my calls, you bastard! Who do you think you are? And who was that floozy I saw you at Sax?".)
Actually, I've forgotten what she did want to ask me, but it certainly wasn't that nor did I feel stalked. But, if Matilda had wanted to (and I emphasize that she didn't!) it would have been easy enough. Why? Because, to make my point again, our avatars can be hidden about as well as Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. Meaning: Not at all. Or, said a bit differently: You can teleport, but you can’t hide.
Take Profiles, for example. Love 'em, read 'em, use 'em every day But they do say more about you then you might appreciate. I once met a Spanish girl who had something along the lines of "Hot Free Sex "-Sim in her profile that I, as best I could, casually asked about.
"What!!!" She shrieked - making me feel like the pervert for asking. I politely pointed out that she had but one item in her picks and that was the aforementioned place of enthusiastic exploration of others.
"What!!!" (I got again) and then a "Let me check! 1 sec". I received a long explanation that sounded vaguely familiar to "this isn't what it looks like, dear, let me explain." She adamantly argued that she hadn't put it there and I said things like, "Yes, I would have been surprised" while I thought things like, "Yeah, sure."
I'm less tough on Group Memberships though, as offers to join occasionally pop up as soon as you enter a sim and are quickly accepeted. And maybe wandering around with "Pussycat Devoted" (or something like that) in my own profile has made me less willing to criticize that oversight.
But take Groups, for example. Trying to hide from some one? Made it so a friend (lover, enthusiastic acquaintance, stalker) cannot see your online status? He, she or it can. All he needs to do is be in the same group as you and most groups – especially stores and clubs– are set up to show just how many happy members said group has. It'll also show you who is online or when they last logged in, though only the date.
Told your girlfriend that you're not going to be on tonight and then sneaking in? She just has to check one of your groups. If she's not a member she can usually quickly join – and then even leave again afterwards. That's called covering your tracks (which is what you failed to do, bubba).
Or take Creations. Anything you build or create in SL will hold, until eternity (well, until it's deleted), you name on it. This isn't a bad thing, and probably pretty useful for actual builders. Like that dance ball you've been using? Right click, more, information and you've got the name of the creator – and can usually go from there to their profile and on to their store. But lot's of other stuff gets tagged as well. Notecards, landmarks, pictures. It's sort of like signing any porn mag you've ever bought and then giving them away to charity. (Okay, an unlikely situation, but it’s a bit like that.)
Used to dabble in making male appendages before moving on to more exciting ..ehm… less exciting builds like chairs? Those dangly bits might still be around (and explain why you keep getting the IMs "Hey, can I get this in a lighter shade and, like, quick?") It's all there and it's all got your name on it.
And this is just the normal stuff, that probably has you yawning already. SL, of course, offers loads of little tools for the more inquisitive, stalking nature as I found out while researching this. Sim scans which tell you who’s in your vicinity. Chat spys that you can latch on to someone and at least hear what they are saying even after you've left the sim (happy, as far as I know, only open chat and only restricted to that sim). Avatar online probes which will report the online status of anybody, friend or foe. And then, because anything that can be sold in SL will be, detective services that will snoop anybody you ask them too (and I’m suspecting also provide loyalty checks on your new partner).
Friday, June 6, 2008
No news is.... well no news
A few people have mentioned that I haven't posted anything here for a while and complained. I'd like to reply to that. The problem is, I say, "I can seem to find anything clever to say at the moment." And usually I then hear: "Oh, that hasn't stopped you from publishing earlier posts."
Anyway. I'd like to promise that Notes From SL is still very much alive and what looks like rigor mortis is actually just a state of deep thought. I have a number of topics rattling around my head to write about. Some good, some bad, some bland, some sort of like those littles stones or maybe they're beans put in Mexican gourds and just rattling for their own sake.
So, instead of deciding to write the one thing or the other, I've decided to put a few ideas up to vote. I mention the topic and you say things like "No". Or "Ehm.. NOT!" Or maybe even "I'm off to read that blog about frog mating again, sorry."
Anyway. Here goes, my ideas to blog about:
1) Dance Balls: Is being out of sync bad style?
2) Anonymous: Why your Ave is not as hidden as you think
3) Show Transperancy: Why didn't Linden Labs name it "Reveal Pervert?"
4) Hot Sax: The best Club in SL ever. A place every one should visit and support. The easiest ways to give tips, how to invite your friends, how to pass LMs of Sax to other people.
5) Unsolicited plugs: Notes From SL in pay of certain Jazz Clubs?
6) Ruth-Less: And why you are, deep down in your SL soul a woman (Ruth) and don't know it
7) That's so Gor'ing: Why running around with a sword (and a slave) gets tedious after a while.
8) Note from SL predicts the election: Because.. well like.. Obama's gonna win (you heard it here first).
9) Places not to go to in SL: Because I'll have to go back there, though I don't want to and LM them and then you'll go there although I warned you not to.
10) Ten reasons why you should visit Hot Sax regularly.
Sooooooo.... feel free to add your comments, or add other ideas of what we here at Notes From SL could write about
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
No Comment
Yesterday evening I had the chance to throw back French scientific research by about a hundred years, which would have put them in the time of Antoine Henri Becquerel or Gabriel Lippmann so maybe not a bad thing.
I was cooling my heels at Hot Sax and staring at my shoes a a French guy arrived carrying a torch and asked if anyone would be interested in answering a few question he had for a study his university was doing. I took another look at my shoes and decided they needed a rest....
Eaton: Hiya... so what questions do you have? Must people don’t ask interview questions with a torch in their hand.
French Guy: does it mean anything to be wearing a torch?
Eaton: nope... but I'd say that generally... people don't wear torches in SL.. has a nice Olympic touch though
French Guy: ok first thank you for helping me
Eaton: np... wear your torch.. you can wear anything here that you like
Eaton: so... your questions are?
French Guy: I see your avatar but i would like to know how do you see it yourself? Could you describe it briefly
Eaton: Basically this Ave is a male… maybe about 25 to 29 years old, he is based on the Raj shape and has a dark he has been mistaken to be an African American, but the goal was to make him seem more Indian in appearance
French Guy: what do you think the other people imagine when they see your avatar?
Eaton: Well, people who have been online for a while will notice that time and some money has been invested in him
French Guy: What is the thing that you particular like most of your Avatar ?
Eaton: ah... hmmm...
Eaton: He looks a hell of a lot better then I do in RL?
Eaton: I like that about him.
French Guy: And to the other side, are there things that don’t fully satisfy you?
Eaton: Sure.... finding good clothes for him is, as a male here, difficult
French Guy: I heard there are more clothes for female
Eaton: That’s true... lean over and I'll cry on your shoulder about that…
French Guy: What are the thing you do most often on SL ?
Eaton: I stand around here at Sax chatting up people
Eaton: I do photography
French Guy: Are they things that you don’t have (enough) the opportunity to do in the real life ?
Eaton: I explore, meet, discover and conect
Eaton: connect* (I do a lot of correcting my spelling too)
French Guy: that is what you don’t have the opportunity to do in RL?
Eaton: ah.. clever question.
Eaton: Well.... yes and no. All of the above are also possible in RL, but it's much easier to invest an hour of time here and meet, for example someone from France (like yourself), then from the UK, then Italy, an American, then on to Brazil, China etc etc etc
Eaton: I can't do that in an hour in RL
French Guy: i understand its usefull
Eaton: oh.. useful isn’t the right word
Eaton: it's entertaining
Eaton: and enlightening
French Guy: entertaining yeah=)
French Guy: Are there things that you would purchase on SL but that you wouldn’t purchase in the real life ?
Eaton: like a skin.. or a body shape or hair?
Eaton: well.. I can't, legally purchase a skin in RL...
French Guy: Do you think that you take the same profit from the SL experience without purchasing anything ?
Eaton: ah.. no I don't. I don't think necessarily that purchasing is the experience... it's what the purchase allows you to do that enhances the experience
French Guy: Can you cite a real life brand which exists on SL ?
Eaton: well American Apparel had a store her.. IBM is present, and there are a number of people who offer brand names without a license
French Guy: Do you think that the SL experience should be close to the reality? Explain
Eaton: I think, speaking generally, that people can experience SL on many levels...
Eaton: I have a good friend who enjoys wandering around as a possum
Eaton: that certainly doesn't mirror RL
Eaton: And take a look around this place
French Guy: ..
Eaton: Full of 20+ year olds... is that mirroring RL?
Eaton: There's a guy here holding a torch... that's fine with me as well
French Guy: I understand what you mean
French Guy: Can you describe yourself? Which are the traits that describe you best?
Eaton: Hmmmmmmm... I'm extremely chatty, sometimes polite, interested, open to new ideas, adventurous and enjoy coffee
French Guy: How do the others describe you in the real life?
Eaton: Tight lipped, rude, a bit of a bore, conservative, a bit of a coward and a coffee lover
Eaton: but seriously...
Eaton: I might be a bit less of everything in RL
French Guy: How would you ideally like to be (which personality traits?) How would you like to be seen by the others ?
Eaton: Prety much what I stated above.. Interesting, open, etc...
French Guy: do you have a permanent resident on SL?
Eaton: yes I do and yes, it's an indulgence and yes, do I need it? No, I won't be sleeping in a dustbin when I log off
French Guy: Did you ever create items in SL?
Eaton: yes.. I've created a lamp that has been... that has had.. or received some attention
French Guy: How much do you waste monthly (L$) ?
Eaton: hmm.. "waste"? That sounds like a loaded question!
French Guy: how much do you spend?
Eaton: well.. Land fees are about 30 dollars.. then tack on maybe another 30.. and that might be it- it fluctuates
French Guy: Do you think you are : 1)a beginner 2)experimented 3)an expert?
Eaton: 2)(Note outside of the interview: I guess he meant experienced... now I'm not so sure about my asnwer!!!)
French Guy: How much time do you spend weekly in SL ?
Eaton: Hmmm.. is "Too much" an okay answer?
French Guy: lol
French Guy: just tell me about how much
Eaton: Great.....well it too fluctuates.. but I'd say... hmm
Eaton: 20 maybe?
French Guy: could you tell me Personal identity in 1st life: name, age, gender, occupation, nationality
Eaton: Nope
Eaton: ok.. that was a downer..
Eaton: I'm American.. just a tad over 40, am male and work in the media business
French Guy: what is your Second life birth date
Eaton: okay.. Don’t tell me this was all a come on and you want to go off someplace with me
French Guy: I don’t understand what you mean
Eaton: doesn't mater.. better that you don't.. sorry.. please continue
French Guy: what is your Second life birth date?
Eaton: 4th of Jan. 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
Awesome as a Possum
(Notes From SL is (or should it be "are"?) proud as pumpkins and pleased as peaches to introduce our first guest columnist Lydian, who has dug her claws into an aspect of SL rarely seen - especially if you don't look down. Thanks Lydian. Enjoy!)
In my limited experience in SL I've seen a number of good things, bad things and things that defy reason and don't fit into any coherent category I can think of.
And I've seen many of them from knee level.
Stop! Not what you're thinking!
I've had the most fun so far in my life as a fuzzy, dress wearing, and obnoxiously cute little opossum. Look down; see those ears? Those ears are me, buster.
Now, some of you sword-wielding or gown-wielding SLers might ask "What could possibly be appealing about being a possum?"
And the answer is tough, soul searching and just simple: Cookies.
Well, ok… maybe not just cookies, but they are definitely a perk. Tinies, as us little folk are called, seem to transcend social barriers of all kinds. Transcend might not be the right word. Maybe we just easily slip under the hurdles. And we don’t squeal under the pressure to be beautiful or handsome. In the world of tinies I've yet to hear "Does this dress make my pouch look fat?" We only have to be cute and we do that with a vengeance.
I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to talk to a tiny cat or hippo rather then that double DD blonde or dashing, muscular hunk over there at the edge of the dance floor?
Stop! You don’t have to answer that question honestly.
But, at least for me as a possum, it has been easier to walk up to tiny and human alike and begin conversations. And sometimes I didn't even need to open my mouth (ehm.. snout).
"Oh my you're a cute little…. thing. What exactly are you? Do those shoes come in my size? That dress compliments your pouch very nicely!" For shy and sometimes conversationally challenged people like me, being pint sized has helped me meet people I probably would not have talked to or, for that matter, who probably wouldn't have bothered to talk to me if I had been somewhat larger. And less fuzzy. And it's always a good opportunity to ask for cookies.
But cookies and easy conversation is only the tip of the miniature iceberg. Being a tiny doesn't mean you’re banned to, well, staring whimsically at grown up chairs. There are whole sims dedicated to the tiny way of life, complete with tiny dances, games, ladybug and bumblebee rides, mushroom houses and even a space station of tiny proportions! And in a flight of tiny smugness I’d like to remind you that the first being in space was not a human, but a dog.
True, being tiny alienates a bit from participating in "big people" dances and sitting on big people furniture because we get folded over and stretched out like silly putty. But I’ve seen enough humans with their legs embedded in the upholstery not to be too worried about that.
So, anyone got any cookies?
You are who you aren't...
Three cheers for SL!
Again.
This just in from my friends at Stanford University, who I don’t have, but considering what they have done, I’d be happy to have them on my friends list.
Why? They have just proved beyond a shadow of a doubt (at least mine, but I’m biased) that SL makes us better people. I think the papers they’ve written on the subject should be required reading for all spouses, friends, parents, bosses or who ever else might be annoyed of your time spent online. You are, to put it briefly, striving to become a better person. And who could argue against that?
Summarized as briefly as possible, the researchers wondered if "users in online environments may conform to the expectations and stereotypes of the identity of their avatars. Or more precisely, they conform to the behavior that they believe others would expect them to have." They have given this behavior the term Proteus Effect. They also mention that in studies done years ago “Male perceivers who believed that a female target was attractive caused her to behave in a more charming and friendly manner regardless of how attractive the target actually was. Thus, in an online environment, a perceiver interacting with a target who is using an attractive avatar may cause the target to behave in a more friendly and charming manner.”
The last bit sounds to me to fit nearly 90 percent of the women I’ve met at Hot Sax. It seems it hasn't got around to all the guys, if Tia's and others comments on this post are anything to go on....
They people at Stanford refer to another experiment where two people are placed in a dark room for an hour and who are then more likely to deliberately touch or hug the other person then those in a well-lit room. (In my days that wasn’t called experimenting, that was called playing post office… but I digress).
They go on to say this: “Online environments that afford anonymity are like digital versions of a darkened room where deindividuation might occur. And in online environments, the avatar is not simply a uniform that is worn, the avatar is our entire self- representation. Thus, we might expect that our avatars have a significant impact on how we behave online.”
And what might it be beyond being nicer if you look sweet? I’d like to add something gleamed from the paper that I shall call “Guys in black are evil, guys in white are okay.” Basically, studies have shown that people who wear black uniforms tend to be more aggressive and more antisocial then those in white uniforms. Those in white uniforms just look tacky – but I added that last bit and it’s got no empiric evidence except fort this horrible white suit I recently saw.
And yet one final nugget of information from the report: If you look like a hottie you’re more likely to spill the beans about your personal life. Or said more scientifically: “Participants in the attractive condition would exhibit higher self-disclosure and present more pieces of information about themselves than participants in the unattractive condition.“
Which means that if you want to get someone talking, just let some nice comments slip in about how attractive their ave looks. It works with me all the time, at least. But then, I look pretty snazzy…. even in black.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Baby, plight my fire
Three cheers for SL!
Okay, I'm not much of a builder, have received less then a positive response as a dragon escort but SL has let me fulfill my – and I suspect – any male's deepest dream.
No, I haven't just had sex with Angelina Jolie. I have become a fire fighter.
And all thanks to the kind people at the Ontario Public Service, or OPS as us fire fighting guys like to call it. The OPS (slurl here) has set up a sim which allows you to discover all sorts of things they do in RL. You can analyse traffic patterns, test water for pathogens or get stuck in a helicopter (well, at least I did). But what I really wanted to do was become a fire fighter, defy the heat, save forests and generally make an impression and have something to chat to Angelina about later. They're even so kind to provide you with a complete fire fighters suit and a hose (which sort of stops abruptly three metres from the nozzle, but does spurt water). So three cheers for the OPS as well!!!!!!!
You can even experience the excitement, dread and thrill of putting out a smallish forest fire – that is you can, if you have enough fantasy. The entire idea is not only to explain what the ONS does all day, but maybe also interest you to become a water tester, traffic controller or, perhaps, a fire fighter.
Now this worries me a little. It doesn't worry me half as much as being in a plane, the pilot and co-pilot dead, the flight attendant asking if anyone knows how to fly a plane and the guy next to me who has just installed Microsoft's Flight Simulator raising his hand.... but it still worries me.
The thing being: It's not really that realistic. I see myself caught in my log cabin, a fire raging towards me and someone who has done this simulation my only barrier between life and a charbroiled future. I envision him having this conversation with his superior while the flames slowly lick their way towards me:
Superior: You have, I take, fought fires before?
Fire Fighter: Sure, lots!
Superior: And you can handle the hose?
Fire Fighter: Sure, though it does seem to travel quite a distance. And it's heavy.
Superior: We need to contain the fire just long enough for the water drop from the plane.
Fire Fighter: Yeah, sure.. been there, done that.
Superior: Just keep the flames under control as long as possible. Any questions?
Fire Fighter: No. Wait. Yes. If the flames get to intense won't that increase lag?
Superior: Nah. Lower area girdling won't be a problem.
Fire Fighter: If it gets out of control then I just TP, right? To safety?
Superior: Well, that shouldn't be a problem, but if you're in danger, do TP, terminate procedure as required.
Fire Fighter: I've found it rather helpful to fly above the flames in my training. Would you advise that here too?
Superior: Yeah, sure.. let it fly over the flames. The water will eventually cut off the oxygen to the fire.
And so on.... I think you get my point.
There are some things you just have to learn in RL But I have to be off... got to go practice my tango skills at Hot Sax again.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Economic Whoas
I’ve always felt mildly embarrassed when I meet a builder in SL. Usually, because without a second thought I pipe up and mention that I’ve built stuff too."What are you into.“ They ask, "Housing, attachments, furniture...?“
I proudly hand them over my one – and only – creation.
"What’s that?“ they usually say. And even without Voice Chat I can hear that undertone one knows so well from when you’ve passed on a dead rat to someone.
"It’s a lamp. And it glows in the dark!“ I add hastily. "And, I... ehm... wanted to keep it minimal and simplistic. It's done a bit in the style of... Erik Magnussen," I add the last bit after quickly googling "minimalistic design".
This is about the time when they suddenly realize that they have that important „SL-Builders Conference“ to go to - which I, for some strange reason, can never find in events.
Okay, I can’t build. I’m pretty good at boxes and can just manage a ball, but as soon as it gets to putting two things together I curse my parents for taking away my Lego blocks. I seem to lack the eye, talent and patience to be a builder in SL. So I really admire what they do.
I also feel a bit sorry for them though. Even the most complex thing I have bought in SL cost me no more then about 3000 Linden. That’s not even 10 US-dollars, Or 482 Afghanistan Afghanis or 31 Malaysian Ringgits. How can these guys make a living?
I suspect they just don’t.
Let me just do some armchair economic number fiddling. Let’s say a decent suit would cost me, erring on the high side, 1000 Linden – or about 3 Dollars (or 3.72 Bulgarian Leva). How many of these would I have to sell to lead an easily life, in – let’s say – a trailer park somewhere just out side of Tuskege, Alabama? About 300 a month, I’d guess – if Pa paid for his whiskey himself. Are the SL-Builders getting that kind of money, rocking on their chairs outside in the humidity and hearing the virtual cash register go “Ka.Ching”?
I doubt it. Or, to stay in character: Thay'rs mo chance of a possum becomin' pr'sdent.
This sort of makes me feel better when I sorrowfully turn my meagre lamp in my hands. It also makes me want to go out and buy, help the economy, help people move out of the trailer park. I hope it does the same for you….
By the way, would you be interested in a lamp?
Striking the pose
Yesterday I discovered myself doing something rather odd in RL….....I found myself casually flipping through a GQ magazine, pondering advertisements and wondering how the stuff might look on me. When I realized what I had been doing, I paused, looked around guiltily and laid the magazine aside.
I’ve never done that before! I am, maybe unfortunately, in RL the kind of guy who goes to the same stores all the time and when asked what I’m looking for points lamely at what I have on.
„Something like this. But, newer. In fact, do you carry these pants?“
I truly think I’m a bit better then most men and try to keep up with style changes, let’s say every five years. So what am I doing browsing advertising in GQ?
I think that SL has made me fashion aware, or fashion conscious or maybe just a fashion victim – take your pick. I used to think of clothes in terms of “shirt, socks, shorts, pants, shoes… dressed! That is slowly changing.. (And may I also insert that Tia has done more then her part too, explaining, for example, that a certain colour is “aqua” and not just “light blue - as I believed; that a cardigan is a type of sweater and not some backbench British politician; that my black hair allows me to wear “primary colours”, and then kindly describing what they are.)
I’ve always been taken back by people who write they love shopping in their profiles. It seemed too trite, trivial and even a little bit self-demeaning – a little dirty secret that one does not have to broadcast to the world. But, although I’ll never put that up in my profile, let me come out of the closet and admit: I enjoy shopping too.
And I’d almost say I love it - were SL a more male friendly shopping paradise. Case in point: I recently pointed out a dress that I liked to Tia and received the quick retort “I don’t want to look like an escort.” (Maybe in a later post I’ll delve into the subject of what men like and women want to wear and why the twain shall never meet.)
But to men’s clothing. At least Tia has the option! And so many more. She can buy anything from ballroom gowns, fluffy sweaters, latex jumpsuits, tops, blouses, skirts, mini-skirts, to things that look like they might eventually become skirts when they grow up. She can go in for the sweet and demure look, the aggressive vamp, the businesswoman attire, tarty and naughty, and on and on and on.
I’m not even going to mention shoes.
What do I have a choice of? Black Mad Max get ups, tuxedos or jeans and t-shirts!
I know there are some good designers in SL for men’s attire, but they are few and far between – and between them are usually miles and miles of very good women’s stores. Travelling from one place to the other I often get distracted and end up ogling, wistfully, women’s clothing. I feel like that guy who hangs out in the bra section at your local department store.
The unfair treatment of men doesn’t just stop there, Case in point number two: demos. I can’t remember the last time I actually saw men’s clothing being offered with a demo to check out before you buy. Probably because I never have. I see that sort of thing all the time at stores that cater to women.
And I fear, dear masculine mates of SL, that it’s our own fault. We just don’t buy like women do. Tia has a longer list of Demos in her Inventory then I have of clothes. I just buy, try it on, think “Damn that looks good”, but more often “Damn, another 250 Linden down the drain”.
And then I go off to paw the gowns.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
In a nutshell...
Yesterday I visited a discussion group about mental health in SL, it turned out to be mainly about how professional therapists could provide their services In World, what could be achieved and how patients could be ensured that the person they were talking to was a legitimate professional and not just some whack interested in hearing you spill the beans about why your Mother never loved you enough.
I didn't stay for long as I eventually became a bit bored and Tia was online and if I have the choice between listening to someone question if Jungian philosophy was a decent basis for analysis or swing Tia around the dance floor you can bet who wins – and it isn't Carl.
But something did nag me a bit.
Have you ever talked to someone who knows nothing about SL and tried to explain what you do there? It usually starts out well. You describe the system, explain what sims are and then move on to your more personal experience. And about then is when they begin to move away with that look on their face usually reserved for rather dirty derelicts interested in receiving a handout.
“I do a lot of dancing actually,” you might mention. “It's great to meet people”
“You go dancing. In Second Life? You log on to dance with other people?”
“Yes. I prefer tango and salsa for the start, but I'm not disinclined against a slow if we are getting on well.”
“Hmmmm.....”
“It's terrible for the atmosphere though when you get out of synch.”
“Yes,” your acquaintance might say as he or she edges a bit further back. “Being out of synch is, well, difficult, I suppose.”
“Don't you believe it,” you reply enthusiastically. “In fact animations can be a real bummer in SL. I've got this one pose that really makes me look like a dork, but I'm not sure how to get rid of it.” (In some cases you might discover in RL that you have just struck that pose.)
You then go on to describe your house, how you just never have enough prims and managed to paint the house pink by accident – all the while chasing you conversation partner around the room until they flee out the door.
What does this have to do with the Mental Health discussion yesterday? Well, the fact is, most people who know nothing about SL would believe all of us In World are in need of a little care. So, am I going to sign up for some sessions?
Nope, I've got a date for a dance with Tia. Sorry Carl.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
At a loss for words
Her: wanna
Her: dance
Me: sure.. why not
Me: tango okay with you?
Her: 0h s0rry crashed
Me: np
Me: I'll wander some more.. if you ever get back online just drop me a call (and man do you have a long list of groups you belong to!)
Her: hy
Her: s0rry crashed
Me: thought so :) Sl can be hell sometimes
Me: it's still rezzing for me
Me: okay... shapes and forms now :)
Her: : ]
Me: you took the time to change
Her: yes
Me: waltz okay with you?
Her: 0h yes: ]
Me: So.. your a secret agent I see... I guess you can't talk about it? :)
Her: yes
Me: ehm.. yes as in "yes I can't talk about it"?
Me: by the way.. I also speak German if it is any help
Her: 0h : ]
Me: hmmmmm.. and what is your mother tongue?
Her: ,h s0rry secret: ]
Her: s0rry babe
Me: okay....fine with me
Me: the weather's nice here today :)
Her: yeah
Her: very g00d
Her: : ]
Me: Sooooo.. if we can't talk about you... and we have already talked about the weather
Me: what do we talk about?
Her: nnnnn....: ]
Me: Do you know what the Turning machine is?
Her: n0
Me: It is a theoretical machine... a computer named after Turning
Me: the man who developed the first computer
Her: w0w
Her: y0v are great: ]
Me: Thank you, you are very kind.
Me: The concept behind the Turning machine is a question about artificial intelligence
Me: Turning said that a computer that had real artificial intelligence
Me: should be able to interact with a human
Me: without that human noticing that he was speaking with a computer
Her: yeah
Me: You haven't heard of it? :)
Her: n0
Me: Do you think you would recognize if someone here was a computer or a human?
Her: nnnnn: ]
Me: Sorry.. what does "nnn" mean actually?
Her: secret:]
Her: hahaha: ]
Her: babe....
Me: yes?
Her: d0 y0v have gf
Me: secret... sorry babe :)
Me: Why do you ask?
Her: want t0 be y0vr gf:: ]
Me: hmmmmm
Me: I'm not looking for a girlfriend
Me: or for anything else
Her: 0h
Me: Thank you. S::: it has been a pleasure meeting you. But I must log off now.
Her: 0h
Me: Thank you for the dance
Her: yw babe: ]
Me: and I hope you find your BF :)
Me: See you soon. Take care and have fun.
Me: Bye bye for now
Her: ty babe bye: ]
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
New Flickr Gallery
In our never ending determination to gain world domination we have just set up a flickr gallery of snapshots taken from Second Life. It can be viewed here. Please feel free to leave comments, criticism or scorn! We'd also be happy to hear from other people playing around with photography in SL as well. If you'd like to see what people with real talent can squeeze out of SL you might like to look at the photos from the SL Exotic Contest. I hang my head in shame...
Monday, March 17, 2008
Name Calling
Do you know someone called Aaron in Second Life? Or maybe Charles, perhaps Pablo, Rob or Ace? According to this website those are the top five most popular names in SL.
I have to admit that I don’t know anyone carrying those names, but most of the people I know are women. And maybe that is why, while browsing down the 50 name long list I also noticed: These are all guys!
Okay, there are one or two that might be sort of unisex (Echo placed at 7, liam at 13, JJ at 14, Angel at 41), but all in all we go from A as in Aaron (and Adam and Axel and Andrew) not quite to Zach (because he doesn’t get on the list) but down it goes through Chads and Ryans and Oscars and Charlies. Not only are the names predominately male, they are – with a few exceptions – predominately Male WASP names that you’d find on the role call for a white middle class high school somewhere in Ohio.
For what it is worth, Aaron comes in 45th in a list of popular boys names 2000 to 2005 for the United States that I found, whilst the leader of that list (“Jacob”) doesn’t even make a showing here. Number two on that list (Michael) shows up here at 26th. On the other hand. Aaron is apparently quite popular in California and in the Bay Area where Linden Labs has its sit. I'm not one to start any conspiracy theories, but that is just too much coincidence for my tatstes.
But back to the list. I must be going to the wrong places. The people I meet are called Zara, Sophi, Serentiy, Masako, Harujuku, Heidi, Madelaine, Tab… not to mention the very enticing, cleverly chosen and brilliant in it’s conciseness Tia. But if this list of male names is anything to go on, I should actually know Emilys, Ashelys and Hannahs. I don’t – and not for lack of trying.
This, and a quick test of trying to register a new Avatar as “Aaron something” (It was easy… I spent more time finding a combination with Eaton that was accepted) leads me to believe that the site’s statistics are just plain wrong.
And that pleases me to no end. I like all the Moonbeams and Daggers and Bloodfangs that populate SL. Sure they or TLC (standing for “Tender Loving Care”) would be hilarious in Real Life – unless Tender rapped in a band – but in SL it’s okay. I think people shoudl give themselves names that sounded vaguely, well... insane. Or at least vaguely French.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Windlight
This post won't have much content -which could be said of a number of my posts - beyond showing you some pics taken while running Windlight. What is Windlight? It's a beta-version viewer for Second Life that really cranks up the graphics and still provides the experience of SL (Tps not working, sudden crashes, dubious messages). Take a look!
[Note: With the newest update Windlight is no longer called Windlight but has been given the rather sexy name Second Life 1.19.1 RC0]
Romancing alone?
Second Life, a hotbed – with at least 32 different positions- of romance. Anyone who looks half way decent, has spent half an hour at a ballroom and can work his or her way through half a sentence knows that by now. But is Serendipity Devin a true romantic? (with a name like that you can bet she is) Is Aaron Moonlight passionately predisposition? (ditto). We have put together a few sighns for our readers to use to find out just how romantic their new friend is. Enjoy.
She's a romantic...
…if she has at least three of the following places in her picks:
Avilion Grove
CLOUD NINE
Camelot Enchanted Forest
! The New Hot Sax Jazz Club
Aladin's Romantic Ballroom
He's a romantic...
…if he has one of the following places in his picks:
Convento das Safadas - Sex Resor
Neva NEVA: Naughty
SEXY 2
Xcite!
SEXY! BEST FREE SEX & ORGY ROOM
She's a romantic..
…if she starts the conversation with: “You’re a wonderful dancer. Can you do the tango in Real Life as well?
He's a romantic...
…if he starts the conversation with: “You’ve got wonderful curves.Do your breasts look like that in Real Life?”
She's a romantic..
…if she tries to manoeuvre you from the tango to a slow dance within ten minutes.
He's a romantic...
…if he tries to manoeuvre you from the tango to a sexgen skybox within ten minutes.
She's a romantic..
…if she is a group member of one of the ballrooms above and would like to show it to you.
He's a romantic...
...if he has a member that he’d like to show you
She's a romantic..
…if she starts IM’ing her friends telling what a wonderful person she has met.
He's a romantic...
…if he starts IM’ing her friends to find out what they will be doing later tonight
Monday, February 25, 2008
The Dragon's Diary: Day 3 or maybe it's already 4/ Dragon in Doubt
Weekends: the peak in any prostituting career, the heyday of hookering, the summit of sublime sensual sex for sale. And how did the Dragon spend it? Gloomily moping around, waiting for a call. I have a friend who earns some 20,000 on a good weekend, what has the Dragon to show? Zilch, nada, nichts, nothing. The only hits I’m getting on the ads are from the owners of the sims, probably hoping I’ll continue to rent.
Things are, in a word, not going well. Again.
Let me relate just a brief interlude that exemplifies what the Dragon up against. Last night, Sunday, the rock bottom – I hope – of escorting I found myself at one of the Sex sims (I probably was looking for “dance clubs”, maybe “book clubs” or even “social clubs” in search. It doesn’t matter what you type in, you’ll always land in a sex place, a Gorean Island or next to some Goth eventually). I was immediately chatted up but an escort - who I then explained, rather coldly, that I too was a escort and asked if she’d like to have my card.
“Ehm… no… I don’t need an escort either, hun”.
“Come on, don’t knock anything until you’ve tried it. And just take a look – it’s actually rather funny in parts.”
She heed and hawed but eventually let me pass the Dragon’s business card to her.
A moment of silence ensued.
“Are you serious!!!!???” she exclaimed.
“Well, ehm, yes… more or less.” I thought the notecard pretty much said it all.
“You don’t get much business, do you?”
“It’s okay” I hauntingly replied. “I can’t complain.” There is nothing worse then being told by another escort that you have the desirability of an STD. “I’ve had, ehm, offers.”
“From who????”
“I’m sorry, professional ethic restrains me from naming names.”
“You don’t have any!!!!”
In Real Life we would have gone into a “do to – do not” exchange for a while, but I think it being Sunday evening we were both just to lazy too type.
Honestly, it’s not a problem of not having any clients. I don’t want any. But it’s a bit like standing at the edge of the dance floor at Hot Sax. You may not want to dance with SpiritualSophi or DirtyDan (depending on your inclinations). But you at least want to be asked!
The Geek shall inherit the Earth
This is may be a bit off topic and not "In World" , but I – and you too for that matter - have just been insulted, albeit in a roundabout way and not very personally, by Ron Festejo.
Festejo is, if you didn’t know it, and I didn’t, creative director of Sony’s “Home”. Sony’s “Home” is, if you didn’t know it, and I’m almost certain most don’t, home to Sony Playsation’s own virtual world. Or soon to be. It was announced in May 2007 but, as of yet hasn’t really been seen in the wild.
Specifically Festejo says that Second Life users won’t be so keen on “Home”.
“We don’t have anything in there that’s appealing to that kind of geeky audience that you might find in Second Life”. That’s rather nice of him to warn us, but it’s the geek part that gets to me.
I want to childishly stamp my foot and yell “Takes one to know one!” I’m just afraid that exactly that might apply to Mr. Festejo.
I’m hoping that Festejo means geek in terms of someone who is obsessed with their computer and not what my Oxford tells me (“A person who is socially inept, boringly conventional, or overly studious”. In that case I have met a few in SL) But, based on the first definition, what I really wonder is where Ron Festejo has been in SL and where he met all the geeks.
I have met artists, hospital nurses, students, web designers, photographers, a bee keeper, some one who does pottery, sales assistants. Americans, English, Dutch, Swedes, Turks, Germans, Brazilians, Argentineans, Chinese.. you name it. I have talked to them about philosophy, SL – of course, family, football, elections, bee keeping (she did most of the talking though) and then a number of things I’d prefer not to mention here.
But I have never had a conversation anywhere in SL along the lines of using “nested if’s instead of switches “ in c++. I vaguely know I have a gigabyte of RAM in my PC, but don’t ask me if it’s PC 2700 or PC 3200. (Actually do, it’s a good chat up line.)
I’m not totally inept on a computer, but in SL I still end up pushing the picture frame I wanted to set up through the wall of my house, nailing it to the neighbours’ door and then wonder where it has gone to. And, considering some people I have met in SL, I’m judged to be a bit techie!
I am not going to get into the name calling game either, but consider this:
Friday, February 22, 2008
The Dragon's Diary: Day 2/ After the Hump
Ehm... don't get me wrong, I mean “Wednesday” with “the Hump”. And this Thursday is not going nearly as well for my budding career as an escort as yesterday went. I've gotten a few reports of people collecting my notecards from the ads I put up, but it appears that they all crashed and couldn't relog before having a chance to IM me. At least that's what I keep telling myself.But, Thursdays are slow days as we in the escorting business always say. At least I hope that is what we always say. No calls, no offers, nothing. It appears I should get out and advertise in person.
But, honestly, I'm a bit afraid. I am rather new to the trade and the newspapers are just full of stories about young, innocent Dragons who end up in situations they weren't prepared for. So, instead of running off to the fullest club to flaunt my flanks and wiggle my wings I decide to do a dry run and learn a bit about pole dancing.
I find a secluded, empty venue with a dance pole and eagerly jump on. And get kicked off. Only for employees, I guess. Or only for non-Dragons I suspect. I blast the pole with an angry spout of fire and move on. Eventually, after a number of encounters with Reptile Racist Rods I discover a lonely place that should have tumbleweeds drifting through it.
I grab the pole and swing around. This is fun! And sexy. Well, I try to convince myself of both.
To be true it gets a bit tedious to watch after a while. I realize that one of the most important aspects of pole dancing is not going to be my prowess on the pole but my power of persuasion. I'll need to talk up customers. Fine, I can practice that too.
“Hello MysticMary! Why don’t you come over and take a seat?” I chat out to the empty room using a phrase I have often... I mean never... heard.
“You look hot today, hun” I add. Us escorts call everyone hun, it saves typing. We also call everyone hot.
“Do you like how my tail wiggles, SugarcubeHunnybun?" Build up a level of understanding and intimacy - Rule 27 in my "Successful Escorting on a Shoestring" book.
Not bad, I’m thinking, not bad at all for a start. Now up the ante. “For a small tip, hun, I might just remove my….”
Damn. How do you strip sensually when you’re naked already? Sure, I could detach a wing, my tail, some of the spikes, but how erotic would that be? Deconstruction Dancing is not a term I’m familiar with. This is going to be tougher then I thought.
Anyway, judge for yourself in the video what my chances are - and take our pole, sorry - poll if you haven't wandered off by now.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The Dragon's Diary: Day 1/ Ads and Advances
This is going better then I suspected. If you remember the last post, we here at Notes from SL have decided to set the Dragon up as an escort. I had expected a week of rumination and reflection why reptilian services might not be in high order in SL, but yesterday has changed my mind. I think it might just have something to do with the ads. And maybe the flames and especially the tongue. Yesterday I went out and began plastering SL with ad boards for Dragon Escort Services. They provide a lengthy description of what we offer (or, more specifically what we don’t, thanks to Tia's sense of protection). For those of you who can’t find them we will reprint it here. Many thanks to Tia for adding her advice, especially on what our services do not entail.
Thank you for your interest in DRAGON ESCORT SERVICES
Are you looking for the hottest thing you can find?
Some one to really light your fire?
You clicked on the right place.
And we hope you like Dragons, because Dragons are what we have to offer! The raciest reptiles in Second Life!
Before you IM us, please take a note of what we do NOT offer.
DRAGON ESCORT SERVICES is only available for damsels, maids, ladies-in-waiting and similar folk. We do not provide our services to pages or yeomen. And NO KNIGHTS WHATSOEVER!
Services
We do not do:
- Whipping- don’t like the sound.
- Bondage - can't always undo the knots and where's the scissors when you need them?
- Wearing a collar - have been mistaken for a dog before and are scared of them
- Missionary position - prefer to eat missionaries and wouldn't want to make a mistake and have to give the money back.
- Oral sex - breath can singe a bit
- Doggy fashion - see above.
- Phone sex - you wouldn’t be able tell the difference between a good roar and a heavy breather anyway.
- Video sex – we don’t have a good side.
- Dogging style - see above.
- Eating food from the genital area - unless you like everything to be smoky BBQ flavour.
- Animal sex - see dogs above.
- Spanking - hands are a bit scaly. We end up spending too much time washing up hands later.
- Sex talk - likes to concentrate on what we are doing.
- Massage – those rough hands again
- Threesomes - can't cope with the competition.
- Outdoor sex - get mistaken for a dog - see above.
Payment is generally in babbles and/or loot
We have also included a couple of pics to tantalize would be clients. Here a small selection:
Reclining at the Beach
Pole dancing (What's he got, that I do not?)
Skinny dipping! 
Monday, February 11, 2008
Hush, Puppies
My partner in crime, Tia, has just made a wonderful discovery.
That is. I think it's wonderful - she has been throwing around adjectives such as "ridiculous", "absolutely daft" and "absurd". She has, she tells me, found animated breasts that wiggle and wobble whilst you walk, jiggle and jangle, hop and bop. Sounds good to me, so I eagerly TP in to check them out.
As you undoubtedly know, breasts are quite a big topic in SL. I mean “big” in the measurement sense of the word. I'm not really that knowledgeable about what bra sizes mean except that they follow some inversed lettering system that would have had you drop out of school if you got that sort of grade. I'm just guessing, because I haven't – unfortunately – done enough research, but I suspect the average cup size in SL would probably be a C or even a D, maybe even a D minus if they are counted like that. And I have seen some real failing grades like the ones to the right.
Still, for all their glory, breasts in SL tend to be rather static, a bit like silicone implants in RL really. Animated breasts could be the next big thing, I hope, as I alight next to Tia.
Now, I know that men are not very good at noticing differences. I routinely compliment colleagues about their new hairdo, whether they have just been to the hairdresser or not. Just to be on the safe side. But I do, immediately, see the difference on Tia.
"You breasts have become a lot larger", I mention. (Though I might have said it slightly differently. More along the lines of "Wowzaa!!".)
Okay, maybe they don't really match her skin colour and the shirt that she had to wear if she didn’t want to run around topless is a bit tacky, but I feel I am in no position to complain. They don't bounce though which is what I mainly wanted to see. Tia hits some controls on them and they do begin to dance.
Lots of people can probably find a better example for the term "sinking feeling" but I think the nosedive my enthusiasm took when Tia's tatas began to sway fits it nicely. Well, maybe sway isn't even the right word… leap, jump, skip. She isn't even doing anything and they nod at me intensely; like some very understanding conversation partner.
But, perhaps we are just biased, we think. Maybe out there in the real SL world there are people who appreciate it when the person they are talking to appears to have two rabbits fornicating under their shirt. We decide, therefore, to take the puppies out for a walk.
…..and we weren't mistaken. In the club we choose no one seems to like them – well, no one admits to liking them. I can understand that the girls undulating on the stage might be overly critical, women can be that way. But even the men seem unimpressed. "I would never approach some one with things like that!" one guy swears. He himself is sporting a set of wings, by the way.
It seems that instead of one great leap forward for mankind authentically bouncing boobs in SL are something that we will still have to wait for. Maybe, in the meantime someone might come up with a similar attachment for men. Wobbling beer bellies, for example.
But maybe you have a different opinion. Have your say in our poll (don't forget to come back after you have voted!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
