Friday, April 25, 2008

Baby, plight my fire

Three cheers for SL!

Okay, I'm not much of a builder, have received less then a positive response as a dragon escort but SL has let me fulfill my – and I suspect – any male's deepest dream.

No, I haven't just had sex with Angelina Jolie. I have become a fire fighter.

And all thanks to the kind people at the Ontario Public Service, or OPS as us fire fighting guys like to call it. The OPS (slurl here) has set up a sim which allows you to discover all sorts of things they do in RL. You can analyse traffic patterns, test water for pathogens or get stuck in a helicopter (well, at least I did). But what I really wanted to do was become a fire fighter, defy the heat, save forests and generally make an impression and have something to chat to Angelina about later. They're even so kind to provide you with a complete fire fighters suit and a hose (which sort of stops abruptly three metres from the nozzle, but does spurt water). So three cheers for the OPS as well!!!!!!!

You can even experience the excitement, dread and thrill of putting out a smallish forest fire – that is you can, if you have enough fantasy. The entire idea is not only to explain what the ONS does all day, but maybe also interest you to become a water tester, traffic controller or, perhaps, a fire fighter.

Now this worries me a little. It doesn't worry me half as much as being in a plane, the pilot and co-pilot dead, the flight attendant asking if anyone knows how to fly a plane and the guy next to me who has just installed Microsoft's Flight Simulator raising his hand.... but it still worries me.

The thing being: It's not really that realistic. I see myself caught in my log cabin, a fire raging towards me and someone who has done this simulation my only barrier between life and a charbroiled future. I envision him having this conversation with his superior while the flames slowly lick their way towards me:

Superior: You have, I take, fought fires before?

Fire Fighter: Sure, lots!

Superior: And you can handle the hose?

Fire Fighter: Sure, though it does seem to travel quite a distance. And it's heavy.

Superior: We need to contain the fire just long enough for the water drop from the plane.

Fire Fighter: Yeah, sure.. been there, done that.

Superior: Just keep the flames under control as long as possible. Any questions?

Fire Fighter: No. Wait. Yes. If the flames get to intense won't that increase lag?

Superior: Nah. Lower area girdling won't be a problem.

Fire Fighter: If it gets out of control then I just TP, right? To safety?

Superior: Well, that shouldn't be a problem, but if you're in danger, do TP, terminate procedure as required.

Fire Fighter: I've found it rather helpful to fly above the flames in my training. Would you advise that here too?

Superior: Yeah, sure.. let it fly over the flames. The water will eventually cut off the oxygen to the fire.

And so on.... I think you get my point.

There are some things you just have to learn in RL But I have to be off... got to go practice my tango skills at Hot Sax again.


Anonymous said...

So having practised on Google Earths flight simulator would be Ok then ? Actually I can't get off the runway at Heathrow [HeathRobinson to its friends] but then again who can eh ????

Tia said...

.......and men like to play around with hoses and water because?........