Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Notes From SL turns 100

This might just blow any chances we could have ever had at getting advertising on this blog, not that we were looking for it. But I thought I'd just report that on July 21st 2008 Notes from SL had its 100th unique visitor, for the month of July that is - the most we've had since going live in February. For those of you (and I'm suspecting it might be about 23.6 percent) who are into statistics we've also had 175 page views and anyone who showed up looked at 1.65 pages. Which means they might be missing a lot, like bouncing breasts or pole dancing dragons.
Or, actually, maybe those are the only two pages being read.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

A man's gotta do......

Having never done my driver’s license nor actually driven a car further then a few feet (and into a post that snuck up suddenly) and not really being interested in televised sport events and – finally – not the kind of guy who talks to others about his amorous adventures I find the amount of manly things I can discuss with my fellow men a bit limited. I’m the kind of guy who, seeing a car in flames finds nothing better to offer then “have you checked if the spark plugs are okay?” and when asked what chances Chelsea has this year immediately start talking about the Clintons.

This might be the reason why I generally end up talking to women in SL. Another might be that I usually talk while dancing and I’m rarely asked to the floor by the Aaaron Darkgearts and Slacker Sammsons of SL. But, just this morning I was able to strike up a short, brief and – at least in my mind – manly conversation that made me feel like I predicated the winner of the Premiere League and said something about the transmission. Ssomething intelligent.

It happened like this. I was sitting at Frank’s Ballroom or Jazz Club or whatever it’s called (and with whom I have a nit to pick about their policy of not letting cats in – but I digress): I was feeling a mite bit bored and having nothing in easy proximity to buy (see last post) I did what I occasionally do. I clicked on the option “highlight transparent” and began scanning the room.

And found that someone, let’s call him Chuck though his real name was something more like Bard – in fact so much like Bard that it was his name – had his dangly bits still dangling. I’m certain most of you know of this option, though Brad, I mean Chuck apparently didn’t. In a show of male bravado I IM’d him, pointing out, quite politely, that if he checked highlights transparent and then took a look at himself from the front he might find something he’d like to change.
Buck, I mean Chuck, wandered around the dance floor some, seemingly ingnoring my hint and I became even more bored with Frank’s and headed home. And he replied.

“Could you see my penis by everyone?” Which I translated as “OMG, could everyone in that fine venue see my Xcite attachment?”. I quickly pointed out that it was only apparent when the option was activated, couldn’t help but mention, perhaps with a bit of cruelty, that women tend to check that out occasionally. “Best keep it in your inventory until needed”, I added in what in RL would have been a manly, knowledgeable manner – the kind you hear just before you buddy or mate (depending on which side of the Atlantic you reside) nods his head and takes a hefty swallow of beer.

Card, I mean Chuck thanked me profusely with a “Hey man, thanks!”. (Okay, that’s maybe not the best example of profusely thanking, but anyway. It made me feel like I had just jump started his car while discussing the soccer game between the New York Mets and the Denver Broncos.

Nickles and Sense

I buy too much junk in SL. That's not only because there is so much junk to buy or that I'm in any way a shopaholic. It results from what I'd like to call the "cashier line of boredom in SL".

Certainly, I'm not going to collect this year's Noble Prize in Economics for this thought, but I see something working in SL that works wonderfully in RL already. Imagine yourself standing in line at the cash register. Two people ahead of you some .... let's call him "age challenged citizen" is fumbling through his wallet, muttering "that's a dime, no a nickel. How much do you need again?".

Having already read through all the nutrient value of the mashed potato mix you wish to buy and having wondered whether E 234 is generally a good or bad thing you find you eyes wandering to the left. Candy bars! And mints! And batteries - which don't taste half as good as the first two but are doubly useful. While the senior citizen begins his counting again you find your hand sneaking out, curling around a mars bar and casually throwing it on the conveyor belt. And then you add the batteries too.

I find myself doing the equivalent of this in SL. In moments of boredom I find myself typing something into Search. "Men's clothing", or maybe more specifically "men's suits" or sometimes even exceptionally specific like "Burlington style cardigan with matching socks". I never really find what I want, but that's beyond the scope of this post.

What I do find is a store and what I usually end up doing is purchasing something. Usually an object I neither really need nor really want. I buy the equivalent of SL batteries.

I've seen many stores in SL that attempt to offer some sort of entertainment. In fact, most clubs I've seen have stores latched onto them. This is, in my view, a bad idea. What store owners really should try to be striving for is this: Get the resident to the store and then keep her there bored. She'll eventually buy something. Well, maybe she wouldn't. Women have more sense than that.

But I would.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Ten things to say when caught naked online

1) I just teleported in and my clothes are still rezzing.
2) I am teleporting away. And my clothes have gone on ahead.
3) I was asked by the Lindens to disrobe. It lessens lag, you know.
4) I'm going to protest against people wearing fur here.
5) I am clothed - its just really, really skimpy.
6) I always teleport naked. It goes faster that way.
7) I got these at that store "The Emperor's New Clothes". Why, what's the problem?
8) Oh, I only rent my clothes. I guess they just got repossed.
9) They were pretty old. Don't you have problems with clothes detiriation?
10) Well, at least I'm not wearing anything from Xcite. What, I am!!!?