Friday, February 22, 2008

The Dragon's Diary: Day 2/ After the Hump

Ehm... don't get me wrong, I mean “Wednesday” with “the Hump”. And this Thursday is not going nearly as well for my budding career as an escort as yesterday went. I've gotten a few reports of people collecting my notecards from the ads I put up, but it appears that they all crashed and couldn't relog before having a chance to IM me. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

But, Thursdays are slow days as we in the escorting business always say. At least I hope that is what we always say. No calls, no offers, nothing. It appears I should get out and advertise in person.

But, honestly, I'm a bit afraid. I am rather new to the trade and the newspapers are just full of stories about young, innocent Dragons who end up in situations they weren't prepared for. So, instead of running off to the fullest club to flaunt my flanks and wiggle my wings I decide to do a dry run and learn a bit about pole dancing.

I find a secluded, empty venue with a dance pole and eagerly jump on. And get kicked off. Only for employees, I guess. Or only for non-Dragons I suspect. I blast the pole with an angry spout of fire and move on. Eventually, after a number of encounters with Reptile Racist Rods I discover a lonely place that should have tumbleweeds drifting through it.

I grab the pole and swing around. This is fun! And sexy. Well, I try to convince myself of both.

To be true it gets a bit tedious to watch after a while. I realize that one of the most important aspects of pole dancing is not going to be my prowess on the pole but my power of persuasion. I'll need to talk up customers. Fine, I can practice that too.

“Hello MysticMary! Why don’t you come over and take a seat?” I chat out to the empty room using a phrase I have often... I mean never... heard.

“You look hot today, hun” I add. Us escorts call everyone hun, it saves typing. We also call everyone hot.

“Do you like how my tail wiggles, SugarcubeHunnybun?" Build up a level of understanding and intimacy - Rule 27 in my "Successful Escorting on a Shoestring" book.

Not bad, I’m thinking, not bad at all for a start. Now up the ante. “For a small tip, hun, I might just remove my….”

Damn. How do you strip sensually when you’re naked already? Sure, I could detach a wing, my tail, some of the spikes, but how erotic would that be? Deconstruction Dancing is not a term I’m familiar with. This is going to be tougher then I thought.

Anyway, judge for yourself in the video what my chances are - and take our pole, sorry - poll if you haven't wandered off by now.

In all honesty, just how erotic is the Dragon's dance?
Free polls from