Monday, February 11, 2008

Hush, Puppies

My partner in crime, Tia, has just made a wonderful discovery.

That is. I think it's wonderful - she has been throwing around adjectives such as "ridiculous", "absolutely daft" and "absurd". She has, she tells me, found animated breasts that wiggle and wobble whilst you walk, jiggle and jangle, hop and bop. Sounds good to me, so I eagerly TP in to check them out.

As you undoubtedly know, breasts are quite a big topic in SL. I mean “big” in the measurement sense of the word. I'm not really that knowledgeable about what bra sizes mean except that they follow some inversed lettering system that would have had you drop out of school if you got that sort of grade. I'm just guessing, because I haven't – unfortunately – done enough research, but I suspect the average cup size in SL would probably be a C or even a D, maybe even a D minus if they are counted like that. And I have seen some real failing grades like the ones to the right.

Still, for all their glory, breasts in SL tend to be rather static, a bit like silicone implants in RL really. Animated breasts could be the next big thing, I hope, as I alight next to Tia.

Now, I know that men are not very good at noticing differences. I routinely compliment colleagues about their new hairdo, whether they have just been to the hairdresser or not. Just to be on the safe side. But I do, immediately, see the difference on Tia.

"You breasts have become a lot larger", I mention. (Though I might have said it slightly differently. More along the lines of "Wowzaa!!".)

Okay, maybe they don't really match her skin colour and the shirt that she had to wear if she didn’t want to run around topless is a bit tacky, but I feel I am in no position to complain. They don't bounce though which is what I mainly wanted to see. Tia hits some controls on them and they do begin to dance.

Lots of people can probably find a better example for the term "sinking feeling" but I think the nosedive my enthusiasm took when Tia's tatas began to sway fits it nicely. Well, maybe sway isn't even the right word… leap, jump, skip. She isn't even doing anything and they nod at me intensely; like some very understanding conversation partner.

But, perhaps we are just biased, we think. Maybe out there in the real SL world there are people who appreciate it when the person they are talking to appears to have two rabbits fornicating under their shirt. We decide, therefore, to take the puppies out for a walk.

…..and we weren't mistaken. In the club we choose no one seems to like them – well, no one admits to liking them. I can understand that the girls undulating on the stage might be overly critical, women can be that way. But even the men seem unimpressed. "I would never approach some one with things like that!" one guy swears. He himself is sporting a set of wings, by the way.

It seems that instead of one great leap forward for mankind authentically bouncing boobs in SL are something that we will still have to wait for. Maybe, in the meantime someone might come up with a similar attachment for men. Wobbling beer bellies, for example.

But maybe you have a different opinion. Have your say in our poll (don't forget to come back after you have voted!)

Which of the following statements best describes your opinion of animated breasts in Second Life?
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Anonymous said...

Seeing as some one did ask... here is the Slurl to the store:

Please feel free to provide snapshots!!!