Sunday, July 13, 2008

A man's gotta do......

Having never done my driver’s license nor actually driven a car further then a few feet (and into a post that snuck up suddenly) and not really being interested in televised sport events and – finally – not the kind of guy who talks to others about his amorous adventures I find the amount of manly things I can discuss with my fellow men a bit limited. I’m the kind of guy who, seeing a car in flames finds nothing better to offer then “have you checked if the spark plugs are okay?” and when asked what chances Chelsea has this year immediately start talking about the Clintons.

This might be the reason why I generally end up talking to women in SL. Another might be that I usually talk while dancing and I’m rarely asked to the floor by the Aaaron Darkgearts and Slacker Sammsons of SL. But, just this morning I was able to strike up a short, brief and – at least in my mind – manly conversation that made me feel like I predicated the winner of the Premiere League and said something about the transmission. Ssomething intelligent.

It happened like this. I was sitting at Frank’s Ballroom or Jazz Club or whatever it’s called (and with whom I have a nit to pick about their policy of not letting cats in – but I digress): I was feeling a mite bit bored and having nothing in easy proximity to buy (see last post) I did what I occasionally do. I clicked on the option “highlight transparent” and began scanning the room.

And found that someone, let’s call him Chuck though his real name was something more like Bard – in fact so much like Bard that it was his name – had his dangly bits still dangling. I’m certain most of you know of this option, though Brad, I mean Chuck apparently didn’t. In a show of male bravado I IM’d him, pointing out, quite politely, that if he checked highlights transparent and then took a look at himself from the front he might find something he’d like to change.
Buck, I mean Chuck, wandered around the dance floor some, seemingly ingnoring my hint and I became even more bored with Frank’s and headed home. And he replied.

“Could you see my penis by everyone?” Which I translated as “OMG, could everyone in that fine venue see my Xcite attachment?”. I quickly pointed out that it was only apparent when the option was activated, couldn’t help but mention, perhaps with a bit of cruelty, that women tend to check that out occasionally. “Best keep it in your inventory until needed”, I added in what in RL would have been a manly, knowledgeable manner – the kind you hear just before you buddy or mate (depending on which side of the Atlantic you reside) nods his head and takes a hefty swallow of beer.

Card, I mean Chuck thanked me profusely with a “Hey man, thanks!”. (Okay, that’s maybe not the best example of profusely thanking, but anyway. It made me feel like I had just jump started his car while discussing the soccer game between the New York Mets and the Denver Broncos.


Matilda said...

Thanks a bunch Eaton! now you have ruined the fun for woman all over SL. The hours spent at hot sax laughing at the poor boys with their lads out, now we will have to find something else to laugh at.

Eaton said...

I hang my head, and may I emphasize that it's my head, in shame, Matilda. I promise to never post anything about how to get the dangly bits the right colour, okay?

Anonymous said...

Its not just the things between a mans legs that you have to worry about - its when their entire body seems to be wired up for take off - and what exactly is it that they have on their nipples..............????????????
and probably more to the point, why?????

Eaton said...

Anonymus :)
I'm only guessing but what they have on their nipples has something to do with SL graphics... it needs tweaking every once in a while

Emeraldmist Nightfire said...

OMG, that never occurred to me. Now you've given me a new hobby.

Which reminds me, one of my earliest SL lessons was...always wear underwear because guys camera up your skirt. Glitch pants ARE a virtual girls best friend :)