Sunday, May 23, 2010

History of Second Life in 100 Objects: The stop animation red rose



The ‘StopAll Animations Red Rose v0.02’ consists of a slender green stalk, adorned with small thorns and crowned with bright red petals. The version I now hold in my hands was made by Logan Bauer and is comprised of eight prims. While not exceedingly beautiful, nor useful (the animation stopping can be done using the feature built into the viewer), it has a deep cultural importance to Second Life.

Take, for example, the surprising lack of rose sellers in SL’s romantic venues. In the real world we would be expected to be eventually confronted with this sort; thrusting a limp Rosa roxburghii at us while managing to say ‘if you want to sleep with her tonight mate, you’d better buy one of these’ without uttering a word. They’re nonexistence is due, of course, to the rose being free.

At the same time, the subsist totus alacritas rosa rutilus – if my Latin doesn’t fail me – does fulfill the role of being a gift. With all the connotations of gift giving, of course (see rose seller’s silent sales pitch above). How often have you passed this rose on to someone, only to find yourself just a while later enaged in passionate sex with the person to whom you offered it? Okay, I never have, but that’s just me, I suspect. History often requires a bit of guesswork.

There is, of course, also the question of cultural norms when dropping this rose into someone’s inventory of the same sex. While it is fairly easy for men to pass it to women, and women to men, or women to women even, for a man to pass it to a man just feels mildly camp. Which is why I ripped the script out of mine, and put it in an object called ‘StopAll Animations Playboy Magazine’. Actually, I haven’t – but I will now that I thought of it.

A History of Second Life in 100 Objects: The Intro



Plagiary, someone said, is the highest form of flattery.
In fact, let me restate that. Plagiary, I have always said, is the highest form of flattery. Those of you familiar with the BBC program ‘A History of the World in 100 Objects’ will know that these new, sporadic postings entitled ‘A History of Second Life in 100 Objects’ is not really original. So be it. In the BBC program, British Museum director Neil MacGregor rummages through the back rooms of the museum, plucking items out – apparently at random – and tells their tale. A bit like a fuddy-duddy old pensioner who has had a port too many and is afraid you’ll be heading for the door if he stops finding things to show you.
Alas, one of the most delightful things about the program, and one I cannot plagiarize in mere writing, is the terrifically posh voices the participants in the radio show use. Macgreor himself has that nasal play on all his words that makes them seem to coagulate in the back reaches of throat before they come out in a mucky consonant clot. A bit like this: ‘We a loo’in a a fun spe saw min.’ (We are looking at a fine specimen…) I can’t be bothered trying to write like that. I’m just stealing the title in the hope that it’ll give me loads of cross-references, allowing me to become rich and famous while riding on the coattails of the BBC.


Thursday, May 6, 2010

Spaced out




I just got a notecard in SL that I haven’t been coming to my astrology classes and the sender was wondering why. I was wondering why too, because as far as I know, I’ve never been to astrology classes either in SL or RL. Maybe they know something about me I don’t, but you’d expect that from a decent astrologer.
On closer reading I discover it’s nothing more than a bit of advertising. And it’s spooky in the way only astrologers can be and make you wish they wouldn’t walk around with those sharp crystals or pointy pyramids.
My life's mission to to alert you and everyone to the magnificence of Astrology's ability to show your connection to the the Universe, to light your Path (whatever it may be) and to illuminate your Profile, Events, and interpersonal meaning,” the notecard states. That is Very nice of Them, I think, though I Wonder why they use all the Capitals. And I’m not entirely sure I want my profile or events illuminated, and at no extent my interpersonal meaning.
Remember, Astrology isn't just about "All is One," or "we know everything already." Astrology is practical too. Astrology helps it to be possible to "Really know" because it's in your nitty-gritty and current truth and disruption.” I almost want that to just stand there without comment, but I can’t. Astrology is in my nitty gritty? And in my current truth? And my disruption? I can’t help but think that astrology, pardon, Astrology is for confused people – and that has me more than confused.
Astrology reveals your unconscious game plan (made before your current incarnation)…” OMG, they know my previous ave, they’re on to me!
It walks in dilligent delight to show you yourself…” … as alliterations are awesomely added to advance aural assimilation without accepting any aid to apply. Or mean anything.
It goes on like this for a few more lines. Or to be more exact: It Continuously comments on Cosmic Contexts.