BASS fishing

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I was talking to Tia recently about her ass, something I, unfortunately, rarely do. She’s off somewhere in that reclusive Neverneverland of SL “fiddling” with it, which makes me even keener to discuss it.

But as it turns out her definition of “fiddle” and mine part ways just after the first F. She’s merely slimming it down on her Avatar. To look better in a skirt.

Now, although Tia also lately theorized that I have “a buttocks thing” I can honestly say that I do not spend an exuberant amount of time staring at her behind – just once in a while when she darts off in front of me and I have to lumber along behind. And I never thought it needed any de-polstering.

Tia has a different opinion. Her rear looks big in skirts – but she quickly adds in that typical defensive female manner – all female butts in SL look fat in skirts. It’s some glitch in the mesh of the avatar apparently and a bigger (if you’ll excuse the use of the word) problem in SL then I ever realized. “To look good in a skirt I need to slim down the hips till I have almost a boyish appearance” Tia says. (My heart sinks). “But I’ll save the original shape for wearing bikinis and slacks.” (My heart returns to its normal position, maybe even a bit higher).

Talking to Tia about Bad Ass Skirt Syndrome - or BASS as we’ve coined it - has emotionalised me more to the problem and I now ogle other behinds in SL with a much more educated eye. I was told (actually by Tia) that every tenth female in SL is actually a male. At another time she mentioned that someone I had danced with had “very wide hips – only a man would do that”. I’ve cleverly combined the two thoughts and decided that I’ll pay much more attention to butts in SL then I have been. There are worse things a guy’s got to do...