Monday, April 6, 2009

Let me through, I'm a doctor, lol :)

I’m worried. Not unduly because I don’t plan to have to use the services of the NHS (that’s the British national health service for those of you who might live elsewhere), but maybe some time I will – and I just read this in the Times of India (my favourite source of Indian news beyond hearing about them chat up my girlfriend at Sweethearts): „A British medical institute has given e-learning a whole new dimension. Med students at Imperial College London navigate a full-service hospital where they see patients, order X-rays, consult with colleagues and make diagnoses. But none of it is real.“

The “full-service” hospital, something which I believe might not be available in England for that matter, is of course in SL. And there the doctors in spe can cut, slice and examine to their hearts delight. Sounds a bit like other places in SL I’ve visited, but anyway. „If students forget to wash their hands before visiting a patient, their investigation is halted,“ the article reports. Which makes me really happy that I don’t have to use the NHS – these are in fact medical students in their third year.

I haven’t, of course, visited the hospital in World – having that male thing about those places that no number of nurses in latex uniforms can cure – but I do wonder if the creators have gone all out and provided for real patients as well. You could just sit them down for seven hours in the waiting room. And no, it wouldn’t be camping. It would be unrealistic to pay patients to wait.


Miss Mom said...

Maybe it is just a matter of time until having a consultation with a doctor will be just the same has getting IT support. You call a number and speak to a doctor a million miles away - in India. He or she might be able to examine you via webcam and since English is lingua franca we can all call the same number. :))) Horray!

Eaton said...

Miss Mom, that idea was just too good not to carry it a bit further!
Through a fluke in the space and time continuum I’ve gained access to the protocol of exactly such as consultation from the year 2021.
Caller: Hello, my names James and I’ve got a problem with my kidney, I think
Call Centre Bangalore: If you have a problem with your heart press 1. If you are experiencing troubles with your intestinal tract press 2. Should you require consultation for liver, kidney or spleen press 3. Those seeking….
(Caller presses 3)
Call Centre Bangalore: Thank you. For Liver press 1. For kidney please press 2. Press 3 if…
(Caller presses 2)
Call Centre Bangalore: Please wait. We advise you to have the following information at hand to aid consultation: Age, Sex.
Call is connected.
Call Centre Bangalore: Hello, my name is John. How may I help you?
Caller: Hi John, my name is James and I’m male and 43 years old. I think I have a problem with my kidneys.
Call Centre Bangalore: Can you tell me the serial number?
Caller: Pardon?
Call Centre Bangalore: What is the serial number on your, uhm, kidney?
Caller: I don’t know. I didn’t know it had one.
Call Centre Bangalore: You look? I mean can you look, sir?
Caller: Look for a number on my kidney? How am I supposed to do that?
Call Centre Bangalore: Maybe not problem with kidney. Maybe try turning off and turning back on?
Caller: What!!!?
Call Centre Bangalore: Maybe your, ehm, kidney incompatible with other things? What you see on screen?
Caller: Listen, I… I’m trying to get advice about my kidney problem.
Call Centre Bangalore: Thank you, sir. Yes, we help. Is cable maybe not in?
Caller: What cable?
Call Centre Bangalore: Plug all cables in, and then we look, okay? Then you try turn on again.
Caller: Listen, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Can I talk to someone who knows something about kidneys – or even the human body?
Call Centre Bangalore: You talk to me. I have three week course about kidneys after me come over from the IT-Call.Centre. All cables in? Now you reboot, okay?

Tia said...

I can add to that:
Call Centre Bangalore: Your appointment is important to us and a Nurse will be with you shortly.
Plays theme from MASH.
Patent: OK
Call Centre Bangalore: Your call is held in a queue. You are number 578.
Plays theme from MASH.
Patient: What? How long will I have to wait? Oh sodding music again........
Call Centre Bangalore: All our Nurses are busy right now but they know that you are waiting.
Plays theme from MASH
Patient: Bloody right they do. Can I talk to a person please. Clearly not
Call Centre Bangalore: All calls cost £10.35 per minute and may be recorded for security and training purposes.
Plays theme from MASH
Patient: But I've been on the line 20 minutes................hangs up
Call Centre Bangalore: The training element being that you tell them about the cost when they've clocked up £100 then they clear off. Clicks onto next caller......

Miss Mom said...

Glad I could inspire you guys. ;) Like I wrote to my friend Jamar: I am a thinker not a doer. I get ideas but seldom execute them...