The Dragon's Diary: Day 1/ Ads and Advances

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This is going better then I suspected. If you remember the last post, we here at Notes from SL have decided to set the Dragon up as an escort. I had expected a week of rumination and reflection why reptilian services might not be in high order in SL, but yesterday has changed my mind.

I think it might just have something to do with the ads. And maybe the flames and especially the tongue. Yesterday I went out and began plastering SL with ad boards for Dragon Escort Services. They provide a lengthy description of what we offer (or, more specifically what we don’t, thanks to Tia's sense of protection). For those of you who can’t find them we will reprint it here. Many thanks to Tia for adding her advice, especially on what our services do not entail.

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Thank you for your interest in DRAGON ESCORT SERVICES

Are you looking for the hottest thing you can find?

Some one to really light your fire?

You clicked on the right place.

And we hope you like Dragons, because Dragons are what we have to offer! The raciest reptiles in Second Life!

Before you IM us, please take a note of what we do NOT offer.

DRAGON ESCORT SERVICES is only available for damsels, maids, ladies-in-waiting and similar folk. We do not provide our services to pages or yeomen. And NO KNIGHTS WHATSOEVER!

Services

We do not do:

• Whipping- don’t like the sound.
• Bondage - can't always undo the knots and where's the scissors when you need them?
• Wearing a collar - have been mistaken for a dog before and are scared of them
• Missionary position - prefer to eat missionaries and wouldn't want to make a mistake and have to give the money back.
• Oral sex - breath can singe a bit
• Doggy fashion - see above.
• Phone sex - you wouldn’t be able tell the difference between a good roar and a heavy breather anyway.
• Video sex – we don’t have a good side.
• Dogging style - see above.
• Eating food from the genital area - unless you like everything to be smoky BBQ flavour.
• Animal sex - see dogs above.
• Spanking - hands are a bit scaly. We end up spending too much time washing up hands later.
• Sex talk - likes to concentrate on what we are doing.
• Massage – those rough hands again
• Threesomes - can't cope with the competition.
• Outdoor sex - get mistaken for a dog - see above.

Everything else considered.

Payment is generally in babbles and/or loot

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We have also included a couple of pics to tantalize would be clients. Here a small selection:

Reclining at the Beach

Pole dancing (What's he got, that I do not?)

Skinny dipping!

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And, in closing, one last pic and some news. The Dragon is now also a Platinum Escort at the aptly named Platinum Escort Club. Here we see him hanging out with some new friends and/or colleagues.

Shock and Ah, why not?

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BBC 2's Wonderland, a show usually devoted to reporting about road kill-eating farmers or "The Secret Life of Norman Wisdom Aged 92¾" (their title not mine) broadcast last night a report on “Second Life: Virtual Adultery and Cyberspace Love”. I'm afraid I couldn't see it, but considering what has been written about it here or here it's bound to bring a slew of more stories, laced with lots of nude or nearly naked avatars for people to look at and say "That's ridiculous" while they continue to keenly eyeball them.

This sort of stuff makes me yawn, so I'd rather draw your attention to the plight of dragons in Second Life.

Ever since I was a little lizard, I've dreamed of becoming a dragon. Lot's of my co-lizards wanted to become dinosaurs, but having to choose between "extinct" and "mythical" I decided I'd go for the latter. Extinct means gone, mythical means it just can't be proven. A better career choice, in my opinion.

What did I like about dragons so much? Well there was the fire and smoke thing (and no, I did not burn that house down! That too is mythical). And damsels. And loot. But I guess what I loved most about dragons was their ability, at least in the stories I read, to strike fear and awe into nearly everyone.

So, I was actually quite happy to discover a dragon costume in SL I could slip into. And having done just that I decided to go pillaging or looting. Actually I could do neither as the costume doesn't come with those animations, so I ended up wandering around a bit.

And, unfortunately, I discovered that no one really is that shocked, much less awed, by a dragon in Second Life. I actually believe some people considered me part of the scenery. I had one, only one, brief moment as two guys TP'ed in behind me, that seemed promising. "Hello dragon", one said. It wasn't much, but I was ecstatic. I gave off a short blast of flames, flapped my wings passionately and was just typing in a "ROOOOOARRR" as I noticed that they had just wandered off. I bet they talk more to their postman than that.

I stood feeling very small, scaly and scathed.

Until I realized that in SL there are a group of people who will talk to any one! The escorts. I TP'd to Escort Alliance, or Island… forget which. And was promptly chatted up.

"Eaton hun, why don't you come take a seat?" some brunette warbled – quite a feat in itself considering it was just typed. I waddled over and stared sadly at my tail. Dragons don't sit, they crouch, hunker down or squat. I decided to remain standing.


"I'm a dragon!" I typed in enthusiastically.

"And you look HOT!" she answered.

A happy little lick of flame jettisoned from my jaws until I realized that she probably says that to all the dragons. Then I realized she probably says that to everyone.

One of those embarrassing silences sets in. You know the type I'm talking about: Your conversation partner absent-mindedly twirls around a dance pole and you stand there wiggling your tail. To bridge the gap I give her a tip and she promptly says (or writes) that she plants a kiss on my nose.

"It's a snout. It's called a snout on dragons," I explain emphatically.

"Hmmmm.."

More silence. No shock, no awe, nothing.

Maybe this wasn't the best career turn. But I suddenly have an idea. "What do you think my chances as a male escort dragon would be?"

"Hmmmmm… not too good, hun."

I leave shortly after that to change back into my jeans.